A Kiss is (Never) Just a Kiss
How to create a organizational culture where respect always limits emotion.
The triumphant end of the Women’s FIFA World Cup was marred by the assault by Luis Rubiales on Jennifer Hermoso, the winning team’s captain, through a forcible kiss on the mouth whilst cradling her head in a way that denied consent. Rubiales was also caught on camera grabbing his crotch in a victory gesture in front of the Queen of Spain, her young daughter and 1.12 Billion global viewers.
This singular event unleashed a global story that, over a number of weeks, drew in a number of organisations and individuals. The willingness of the Spanish football governing body RFEF to support and defend Rubiales stood in stark contrast to other footballing bodies and notables, and perhaps emboldened his dogged refusal to in any way be held accountable for his misconduct. It threw Spanish culture and the soccer community into turmoil. The locker room dismissal by Rubiales and his bosses took weeks - not hours or days - to accede to the dominant voice of the sport, leading women and girls around the world back into a #MeToo cultural moment.
It's an example of people thinking that it’s acceptable to overstep usual boundaries in the heat of a moment whether it’s being televised to billions of viewers round the world, or to a couple of hundred folks in a hotel conference suite. As President of the Spanish Football Federation Rubiales was in effect CEO of Spanish Football. When the Spanish Women’s Team won the cup, it should have been the crowning moment of years of work and not tarnished by this gritty act of sexual aggression that placed him at the centre of a celebratory moment.
For a full timeline of events, BBC Sport provides the replay here and AP adds color here. At one point, events took a turn for the bizarre when Rubiales’ mother went on hunger strike in support of her son in a very Spanish Hamlet way (Act 3 Scene 2).
Although Spanish Football Administration hadn’t moved with the times, then the most vocal Spanish commentators were women, including the minister for internal affairs María-Jesús Montero, and Mónica Ceberio Belaza, the managing editor of Spain’s leading daily newspaper El País, and La Furia Roja - the entire women's squad.
The first person to be fired was the Spanish Women’s team manager Jorge Vilda Rodriguez for clapping during Rubiales’ speech on “fake feminism” during the Federation’s Extraordinary General Assembly on August 26. Vilda was immediately replaced by Montse Tomé – the first woman to ever take up the position. FIFA then banned Rubiales for 90 days and finally, Rubiales himself was fired. Rubiales was very open about his actions, reactions and the stance he was taking, all the while enjoying the payroll of Spanish football. His statements made a bad situation worse and no-one was silencing him – #SeAcabó (It's Over) became the prominent hashtag – parallel to the English language #TimesUp.
Lessons for Business
When it comes to company parties, industry events and other business gatherings, most experienced people have a war stories to recount. But in the last few years there's also been a significant more to make events safer and more inclusive. Here are some starting points to reframe your organization's approach:
Culture – the best approach is prevention – if you have a culture that is engaged, friendly and positive, and where people feel safe, then there’s every chance you can hold successful industry and internal events where everyone has a blast and is left with great memories. But building that culture doesn’t happen overnight, or by proxy. It takes commitment from every level of the organization. I recommend learning from organizations like Emtrain who will also benchmark where you are today, in terms of DE&I, and provide the tools organization-wide to create a safe environment in the office and at events. If high energy corporate moments lead to gossip, recrimination, firings or resignations then your sand-line needs to be redrawn.
Policies – having clear policies when it comes to how employees interact, how they may use social media and how they interact with customers and partners makes it easier for everyone to understand what behavior is OK and provides a starting point if you have to deal with infractions of any kind. No policy will ever cover every single situation, and they need to evolve over time. using a diverse set of employees across the company in the creation of these policies also helps them bed in faster, and feel more democratic.
Event strategy – younger demographics of Americans are drinking less and have different expectations of events. Work with your events team to get away from situations that center solely around alcohol. Senior managers should also understand that their authority and influence can lead to situations where consent is a casualty.
Before industry events – briefing sessions prior to events should be handled both cascade style and with written reminders. Give staff a chance to ask questions and walk through scenarios. It’s important that employees know that leaders will be present and will be there to help if anything happens. At a peer-to-peer level having a buddy at big events is supportive and can add to the fun.
During events – make sure that all guests/delegates are having fun but not drinking to excess, as the blurry line between business and social interaction needs to have focus. If someone is inebriated don’t leave them alone, take care of them and make sure they are not embarrassed or get into a compromising situation. If this is a sales event, relationship owners should make sure they stay in touch with their customers and buddy up with them. Both corporate and personal reputations are at stake.
Be ready to take action – if the worst happens, if there is an issue, be ready to move decisively once facts are confirmed. Use your policies to demonstrate that you are following your own principles and guidelines. Your legal and PR teams should be ready to respond as agreed with your leadership team. If it’s the behavior of a senior leader that is the problem, go upwards to the Board. Institutional blindness leads to tragedy.
Strategy and advice – building a culture that fosters equality and dialog, but understand that it’s leadership that has the responsibility and legal liability to ensure safe spaces both at work and at industry events.